i agreed to go to the 6th form social (party) tomorrow night.... i'm so regretting it i only agreed because my friends were going, and i wanted a night off (and an excuse to buy a new dress), and i feel like i should go to at least one of these things before i leave school... but its really not my scene. i like dancing, but in places i know. not nightclubs.... i feel out of place, and im not 18 yet... that shouldnt matter since its a private party i dont think. but still.... and people drink to the extreme here.... its not a good night unless you've been sick or passed out. i dont relish the thought of spending an hour on a bus with people being sick around me tbh... *sighs* and since its a bus social i cant just go home if it gets too much, you know? i have to stick it out until its time to go home... *sighs* im going to wear my lucky socks tomorrow in the hope that the luck will continue through to the evening and i'll have a good time with no one being sick near me. i really dont get that... why do people drink to be sick. what's pleasant in that?? i guess im a bit paranoid about sick... being sick and seeing it wish me luck anyhow. i could do with a good night... i'll be even more knackered on thursday though. get home at 2, get up at 7... great stuff. i know they're pathetic worries and i should just try and relax and enjoy it.... but its just right out of my comfort zone and i cant help being nervous :-/ its stupid i know...

um, got the exam paper. complete opposite situation to last time when i had to pick my own question and couldnt think of anything. this time i looked at the choices and though "urgh... how boring" and then i looked at one theme, called "distressed" and i thought about a series of photographs someone i watch on dA did. They zoom in on sections of rust and industrial sites which are particularly interesting to create a colourful, abstract and surprisingly pretty effect. please go and visit his page... he's a brilliant photographer. im going to do some photos like that, probably do some paintings like that too... and im going to do some creative textiles work! miss has this amazing book called "paper, metal and stitch" and its gorrrrgeous im in love... i was sitting there looking at it with my mouth slightly ajar bless... so its going to be something COMPLETELY new for me, so quite daunting since i've never done creative textiles... but quite exciting too i think... and hopefully more fun than frustrating

um... that's it. sorry for the overly depressive journal yesterday.... i just need to get past this week and then i should be a lot better. its half term next week... and a week thursday im going to france (on my own!!) to see my sister im looking forward to that...

oh, and im now officially surviving on coffee